Tuesday, May 8, 2012
I was walking through the warehouse picking orders one morning and had my ipod on. I was trying to see the orders but the lights were blocked by the racking we have in the warehouse. I could see but it was difficult to read, but I managed. As I kept walking around going to different aisles some of the aisles I could see my orders better because it was brightly lite. It was hot and even though I had the fans on in the warehouse it can make you very tired and run out of energy fast. I found myself getting exhausted quickly and the more I had to keep going up and down the ladders to get product the more I began to wear down. I still kept going even though I really felt like just going in the office and sitting down and cooling off I kept myself focused on what I needed to do and not my circumstance. God started to speak to me during that moment. He said just like you couldn't see in the dim parts of the warehouse there are going to be moments when you can't see what lays ahead for you. You know that I am guiding you in a direction to go but you can't see why I have you going this way or even how things will work out. You are going to feel as if you want to give up because it seems to hard for you and things are always going to try to way you down. Your mind and body will be physically exhausted from the challenges you will face and many ups and downs in the process. Just remain faithful and keep your mind and heart focused on ME and I will give you my strength because you strength will fail you. I will give you my wisdom and the knowledge to know how to carry out what I have planned for you. Don't let others stop you or side track you keep your eyes set on me. I began to thank HIM in that moment because I had been and still do feel that way, but I know that HE has a purpose and a plan for everything I am going through. I may not know what it is right now, but I have to trust HIM and seek HIM and know that HE is just a whisper away when I need HIM.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
With the upcoming workshop next week it has had me thinking about what my relationship with God is like. This workshop is focusing on intmacy and when you are not in a marriage with someone you have a lil different perspective of what you see intmacy as. I know in my daily walk with HIM I talk to HIM about everything. There isn't anything that I hold back from HIM even though he already knows me and everything about me I still want to share that part of me with HIM because I love HIM. I want to spend time with HIM and get to know more of HIM and for HIM to speak to me and show me things that HE has for me to do. When I dance I want it to be pleasing to HIM and to do it with excellence and with all I have in me. When you love someone that much you want to tell everyone you know how much you love that person and what they mean to you. Intmacy for me is having HIM to wrap his loving arms around me and tell me how much he loves me and I mean to HIM. It's about going deeper in my walk with HIM like I never have before. It's about opening myself up and coming out of my comfort zone and letting HIM speak those things into my life that will help me carry out HIS will. It's about not being afraid to take that step that you thought you could never make again, but knowing HIS love for me I know I can do anything with HIM by my side. Thinking about all this after I got up this morning I now know what song I am dancing too at the workshop :). It's going to be a lil different than anyone has seen me do, but I know it's something that HE put on my heart.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
There is this older lady who lives in our apartment complex that is a bit odd. All of the kids call her "The Crazy Old Lady". She has very strange behavior and just randomly sings to the kids and dances. She often times will sing Jesus loves you this I know for HE PERSONALLY TOLD YOU SO. Most of the time the kids find her a bit creepy and shy away from her. She waves at us in the morning and does a little dance of some kind and goes on her way. She seems to be unaffected that it bothers people and if someone says anything mean to her she just smiles and goes on her way. When she crosses the street she does some kind of airplane move and then stands at the corner and does some random dancing. I started thinking about this morning when we as christians start to talk about Christ to someone we get rejected and shot down for what we are saying. Often times we get made fun of for believing that JESUS stuff as some would say. What if we were like that lady at my apartment complex and just proclaimed it anyway no matter what anyone thought? Are you going to hide who you are and what you believe just because someone makes fun of you or rejects what you are saying? We should take on the mind of Christ and love them anyway and share with them how much he loves them. If they make fun of us for believing in HIM then we should smile and pray for them all the more. I hope that I can have more of The Crazy Old Lady in me when it comes to sharing about Jesus to others and loving them inspite of them making fun of me or rejecting what I say.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
I was thinking last night as I was listening to some music before bed about some of the things that I have been through in my life. I see so many people going through divorces these days or they are in relationships they shouldn't be in , or just plain not doing what they should be when it comes to relationships. It really breaks my heart to see so many people get it wrong. Speaking from someone who is divorced and has been single for many years now I can say that I now know what it is God wants for me and I know what I want for myself if I was to ever get into another relationship. It breaks my heart to see so many young girls give themselves away to someone and not value themselves more than that. If a boy wants to be with you he needs to seek after God and what it is God wants for his life and if they truly want a relationship with you then he has to ask your DADDYS permission. You ladies have value and don't let this world fool you into thinking you have to sleep with someone in order for them to love you or that you have to change who you are for someone. I spent alot of years trying to be someone I wasn't for another person and when I finally said enough is enough and sought after God and what he wanted for my life then I finally understood where my wires were crossed so to speak. We get it all wrong when it comes to relationships because of what we see and hear everyday on tv, movies, and the people we surround ourselves with. God should ALWAYS be the center of any relationship you have. I have a close friend who is seperated and lost their family because they didnt keep God the center of the relationship. God meant marriage to be forever not for now and then when things get tough you bail. I know when and if I get married again it will be because God put us together. There should be respect, kindness, willingness to listen, and most of all you should always seek God and what it is he wants for your marriage. Everything we need for a successful marriage is in his WORD. If we keep ourselves full of his word and seek after HIM then we will truly know what it is to have true unconditional love for our partner.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
As many of you may or may not know I have been battling pain in my left foot for about 6 years now. Thats about how long I have been in the dance ministry....coiencidence I don't think so. Anyway about a month ago I was at work and my foot was hurting me so bad I couldnt hardly walk and caused me to cry in pain. I went home that friday and did nothing that weekend, but I got up that Sunday morning and said God nothing and I mean nothing will keep me from doing what you have called me to do. I walked in and Tammy said no I will do flags and I said to her no I have to do them this morning. She totally understood what I meant and has been there herself where she knew she had to dance her way through it. From that moment on I felt an overwhelming peace that I knew God had it all under control. I knew what I was going to be fasting for on my 21 day fast. I prayed for my foot to be totally healed and for God to give me the wisdom to be able to make better choice so that I could lose weight to carry out what he has called me to do. I don't want to just halfway do what he called me to do I want to do it with excellence and be able to look at people when I minister and say I have made it through and so can you. Don't ever give up and keep yourself focused on HIM and he will give you the strength and the wisdom to be able to carry out what he has called you to do. I went to the doctor right after that Sunday and the doctor told me I had a Bursa Sac and a Spur on my Achilles Tendon. Quite painful and not fun to have wrong with your foot when you are in the dance ministry. Well he put me in an air boot and gave me some anti inflammatories to take to get the swelling down. He said come back in 3 weeks and we will see how you are doing and if it gets better we will discuss how to go from there. If it gets worse then we will schedule and MRI and will probabaly have to do surgery if its really bad. I looked at the doctor and said not surgery!!!! He smiled and said I hope not. So I went back to the doctor this past week and my foot has gotten better and he said he wants to continue the treatment for another 3 weeks and the fourth week I am to walk in my regular shoes. He will then have me come back and they will cast me for a functional shoe insert that will raise my heels up so that the tendon doesn't rub against that spur. He asked what kind of activities I did outside of work I told him I was in the dance ministry. He scowled at me and said in a low tone NOOOOOO we cant be doing that. I said doc I am not being disrespectful but I will continue to dance anyway. He said well we need to get your foot well and not to damage it anymore. I still looked at him and said I will still dance. He then said ok we will talk about it when you come back I smiled and just shook my head. I left the doctors office and called my mom and told her what the doctor said and she said I told you he would tell you to stop dancing. I said mom I know you mean well and are trying to look out for me but that isn't going to stop me from dancing. I know what he has called me to do and nothing or no one will keep me from doing it. Even if I have to dance in a cast or on crutches. She said ok and left it at that. I had a few people at work shake their head because they heard me say I was still going to dance. This was my facebook post from the day I left the doctors office " DONT LET ANYTHING OR ANYONE KEEP YOU FROM DOING WHAT GOD HAS CALLED YOU TO DO. YOU STAND FIRM ON HIS WORD AND REBUKE THE DEVIL AND HE WILL HAVE TO FLEE. NOTHING IN THIS WORLD NOT EVEN FAMILY AND FRIENDS SHOULD KEEP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED TO DO!!!!!!!!!!! God said he gives us the desires of our hearts. Well mine is to dance for HIM like never before and to lose weight so I can carry out that call on my life. Tomorrow at church I will be without my boot for the day because I know that I know that I know that I know that I know I am healed. I will continue to do what the doctor has asked me to do. If you only get one thing from this blog entry I want it to be this.....Don't let yourself stop you from doing what he has called you to do. Make the decision to do all you can do and let him do the rest. He will give you the knowledge and wisdom to carry out what he called you to do as well as give you the strength to get through it all. The enemy can come at me but he knows when I say flee in the name of JESUS he has to go!!!!!! So when you see me dancing tomorrow in church my prayer is that you see HIM through me and that it sparks you to go after all that God has for you and to do what he has called you to do.
Friday, December 16, 2011
When we were out in St. Louis Charmaine played this song for us and I just cried listening to it. I just thought I would share it on my blog with everyone. Don't just listen to it worship with it. This song makes me want to dance til I fall down on my knees and just lay there at his feet.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
I recently went to St. Louis with the Dance It Out team to minister in a friend of ours christmas program at their church. There are alot of reasons why this past weekend was a divine appointment, but I think the reason I was supposed to be there was to re-affirm that I am where I am supposed to be and to show me that there are greater things ahead. There are times I feel so clumsy when I dance and I say God why do you have me dancing I dont have any ability I ache all the time and I am sure someone else can do it better than me. He gently puts his arms around me and holds me tight and says, but you said yes when I asked. When I was in St. Louis I messed up during the first service dancing and I felt so bad about it afterwards, but no one noticed or if they did they never said anything. Something that Curtis said to us before we left when we were talking about everything that weekend. He said this church is so used to everything being perfect that they need to see that its not about perfection but about your heart and willingness to put yourself out there for God to do something. There are going to be times when you step out and do what God has called you to do that you will mess up and you will feel as if someone else can do it better but don't let that stop you from the call he placed on your life. He wasnt looking for perfection he was looking for someone to say yes I will. I dont look for compliments or nice words when I dance and its hard for me to take the compliments when given. I do what I do because God asked me to step out and do it for him and because I just can't sit still and just raise my hands anymore. For all he has done in me I want to shout and dance and show him how much I love him. I sometimes wonder what people would do if God just walked in the church would they just stand there or sit in there chairs. I know everyone has their own way to worship I am not knocking anyone's way of doing it but do you think about what you are singing about? If you truly did it would make you want to fall at his feet and worship or get up and shout to the heavens praises to him. Next time you see me or any of the team doing flags or dancing don't just sit there if you feel like dancing and shouting get up and do it. Our whole purpose is to help others enter into worship in a deeper way. Don't let what other people may think hold you back. It doesn't matter how silly you think you look stop letting that mindset hold you back.