20+ Years Later

I had an old friend come into town this past weekend and came to church to visit. He and I go way back and he knew me back when I wasnt in a good place in my life and neither was he. He said to my pastor that 20+ years ago you never would have gotten her up there to dance and do flags. He's right I wouldn't have done it for nothing. I have grown and learned so much in those 20+ years and Im in a different walk with God. I have had to learn that it's not about me it's all about HIM. I have to die to my selfish nature every day and ask God what it is he wants. It's not always easy I find myself being selfish at times and do what I want to anyway. I don't ever want to go back to that place where I was at all those years ago. I was a christian who struggled and wanted to be loved by someone. I wasn't satisfied being myself and always wanted to be accepted. I cared what others thought of me back then instead of caring what God thought and wanted for my life. I spent way too many years looking for love in a man and got myself into bad relationships and started those relationships off the wrong way every time. I am finally in a place to where I seek after God and don't worry so much about whether I have someone to share my life with. I am never alone he is always with me no matter where I am. I have my kids and a great family, a wonderful church family, and some pretty awesome friends. I look for his approval not the approval of man. I stopped seeking out someone to date or be in a relationship with. I had to get myself in a place where I was sick enough of my circumstances and going around the same tree so to speak over and over again that I finally cried out to God and said I only want what you want for my life. If I go through this life with no one to share it with then I am ok with that. God has done a work in my life and I am not about to throw it all away on a temporary pleasure because I have been fooled into thinking I have to have someone in my life. It makes me sad to see that there are so many people out there that are in the same place I was for all those years. Don't make the mistake of seeking after a man/woman approval and for their love. That only leads down a path of never-ending void inside you. I am thankful that God had patience enough and loved me enough to bring me to the place I am at now in my life. Bury your heart so deep into God so that person who seeks after you has to seek God's heart to find yours.