Overcome-SONG - DONT JUST LISTEN WORSHIP

When we were out in St. Louis Charmaine played this song for us and I just cried listening to it. I just thought I would share it on my blog with everyone. Don't just listen to it worship with it. This song makes me want to dance til I fall down on my knees and just lay there at his feet.

Dont Hold Back

I recently went to St. Louis with the Dance It Out team to minister in a friend of ours christmas program at their church. There are alot of reasons why this past weekend was a divine appointment, but I think the reason I was supposed to be there was to re-affirm that I am where I am supposed to be and to show me that there are greater things ahead. There are times I feel so clumsy when I dance and I say God why do you have me dancing I dont have any ability I ache all the time and I am sure someone else can do it better than me. He gently puts his arms around me and holds me tight and says, but you said yes when I asked. When I was in St. Louis I messed up during the first service dancing and I felt so bad about it afterwards, but no one noticed or if they did they never said anything. Something that Curtis said to us before we left when we were talking about everything that weekend. He said this church is so used to everything being perfect that they need to see that its not about perfection but about your heart and willingness to put yourself out there for God to do something. There are going to be times when you step out and do what God has called you to do that you will mess up and you will feel as if someone else can do it better but don't let that stop you from the call he placed on your life. He wasnt looking for perfection he was looking for someone to say yes I will. I dont look for compliments or nice words when I dance and its hard for me to take the compliments when given. I do what I do because God asked me to step out and do it for him and because I just can't sit still and just raise my hands anymore. For all he has done in me I want to shout and dance and show him how much I love him. I sometimes wonder what people would do if God just walked in the church would they just stand there or sit in there chairs. I know everyone has their own way to worship I am not knocking anyone's way of doing it but do you think about what you are singing about? If you truly did it would make you want to fall at his feet and worship or get up and shout to the heavens praises to him. Next time you see me or any of the team doing flags or dancing don't just sit there if you feel like dancing and shouting get up and do it. Our whole purpose is to help others enter into worship in a deeper way. Don't let what other people may think hold you back. It doesn't matter how silly you think you look stop letting that mindset hold you back.

Don't Let Your Words Destroy Someone

I watched two people go at it today at work and not handle themselves in a very good manner today. It made me sad to see both of them not handle the situation and could very well have resulted in both of them being terminated. I see so many people that always want to blame the other person for why they behaved in such a bad manner when it really boils down to how you handle yourself. It doesn't matter how another person treats or speaks to you. The only control you have is over yourself and how you deal with the situation. When I was very young I would say things without thinking how it may make the person feel or if I was making the stiutation worse. We shouldn't be quick to say things out of anger or hurt. We should use wisdom in what we allow to come out of our mouths. It took me alot of years to learn that. That's not to say that I may not want to say some things out of anger, but I stop myself and ask God to help me change how I handle myself and what I allow to come out of my mouth. The tongue is a powerful weapon and if misused it can cause destruction in someone's life. I don't know about you but I don't want my words to destroy someone I want them to uplift and encourage them.

Sharing My Thanksgiving Thoughts

This is something I wrote last year and posted it on my notes in facebook and I thought I would share it with. "Thank you God for loving me enough to send your son to die for me even when I know I don't deserve it. Thank you for always being there thru every circumstance good or bad and despite my selfishness you still extended grace to me. Thank you for giving me another day to breath and to be able to worship you and to have a small part in helping others to come to Christ. Thank you for always forgiving me when I make a wrong choice and willfully doing it but yet you still forgive me when I ask. Thank you for placing people around me that lift me up in prayer and encouragement when I have no strength of my own to do it myself. Thank you for the blessing of giving me my girls who despite my not being the best of moms at times they love you with all their heart and choose to serve you. Thank you for my parents and their unconditional love for me and there wisdom to point me the right way when I sometimes didnt want to listen. Thank you for the church you have placed me in that is a loving church that just wants to serve you in anyway they can no matter how small or big. I have so many other things to be thankful for and my list could go on forever even down to the smallest of things. Knowing that he has my name written down in heaven is what I'm most thankful for because without Jesus dying for my sins I wouldn't have my name written in heaven. What is it you are thankful for the most? NOV. 25th 2010" .

20+ Years Later

I had an old friend come into town this past weekend and came to church to visit. He and I go way back and he knew me back when I wasnt in a good place in my life and neither was he. He said to my pastor that 20+ years ago you never would have gotten her up there to dance and do flags. He's right I wouldn't have done it for nothing. I have grown and learned so much in those 20+ years and Im in a different walk with God. I have had to learn that it's not about me it's all about HIM. I have to die to my selfish nature every day and ask God what it is he wants. It's not always easy I find myself being selfish at times and do what I want to anyway. I don't ever want to go back to that place where I was at all those years ago. I was a christian who struggled and wanted to be loved by someone. I wasn't satisfied being myself and always wanted to be accepted. I cared what others thought of me back then instead of caring what God thought and wanted for my life. I spent way too many years looking for love in a man and got myself into bad relationships and started those relationships off the wrong way every time. I am finally in a place to where I seek after God and don't worry so much about whether I have someone to share my life with. I am never alone he is always with me no matter where I am. I have my kids and a great family, a wonderful church family, and some pretty awesome friends. I look for his approval not the approval of man. I stopped seeking out someone to date or be in a relationship with. I had to get myself in a place where I was sick enough of my circumstances and going around the same tree so to speak over and over again that I finally cried out to God and said I only want what you want for my life. If I go through this life with no one to share it with then I am ok with that. God has done a work in my life and I am not about to throw it all away on a temporary pleasure because I have been fooled into thinking I have to have someone in my life. It makes me sad to see that there are so many people out there that are in the same place I was for all those years. Don't make the mistake of seeking after a man/woman approval and for their love. That only leads down a path of never-ending void inside you. I am thankful that God had patience enough and loved me enough to bring me to the place I am at now in my life. Bury your heart so deep into God so that person who seeks after you has to seek God's heart to find yours.

Moment By Moment

You wake up in the morning and first thoughts in your mind are..I have to get the kids up, what am I going to make for breakfast, how am I going to pay that bill, I have to get that report done for work, someone is in the hospital in your family and you worry how they are, all these busy thoughts. Then your feet hit the floor and you begin your day with stress and worry. You get the kids off to school and you get yourself ready for work. While you are walking out the door for work you see a neighbor who is going through a rough time and you have been trying to be there for them. Then you get in your car and drive to work. You get to work and deal with the stresses at work. Your mind gets bogged down because your boss or a co-worker is not being as nice as they should be to people. You go to lunch and while you are in the line at Sonic you see a homeless man who is asking people for money to eat and everyone passes him up. You reach in to your purse and give him a $10 bill and hand it to him all the while your worry about the stress that awaits you at work. Then its back to work but all the day you worry about the bills that are piling up and it weighs on your mind. You leave work and get a phone call from someone who just wants you to listen to their problems so you listen to them on your way home from work. You get home then the kids are arguing and they are asking for this and that and you just want a moment to yourself. You get dinner done then you get a shower and try to wind down but you still have all this on your mind and it never shuts down. By the end of the day your exhausted and you just want to go to sleep. Often times this is how it is we don't start are day off with God. We say well I dont have the time to in the morning I have too much to do. There is always time to make for God if you just stop and be still. Most of us don't want to stop and be still because then all the flood of thoughts take over and we dont know how to stop them from over taking our mind. You never seem to get peace of mind. Most people dont know what peace of mind is or how to get it. We are to take rest in God and give him all the burdens for us not to carry them anymore. You say how do I do that? You do it moment by moment. Whenever you start to have a flood of thoughts that are over taking you and you are stressing out just stop in that moment and say God I praise you and thank you for my peace of mind and I give it all to you. You may have to do that a thousand times a day until you get peace of mind. Don't let the enemy have a foot hold in your mind he has no power unless you give it to him. The enemy wants us to have our minds full of chaos so that we are not hearing God speak to us. We can't hear him because we don't get still and listen. It's not going to be easy for some to just be still and quiet thats when you stop and take it moment by moment and just praise HIM.

My Prayer Today To My Father

Just the thought of being without you in my life is enough to bring me to my knees. I can't think of anyone or anything else. There isn't anything that I wouldn't do for you or anything I wouldn't give up. To wake up and start my morning off spending time with you makes my day full of joy and to be able to face the day whatever challenges I may face. I want to tell everyone of how much I love you and what you have done for me and what you will do for them. I want to be lost in your presence. If anyone man wants to have my heart he will have to seek you because my heart is held by you and he will have to seek you to get to me. The love I have for you is unexplainable in meer words. I sometimes am speechless at the thought of how you love me so much that you would send your Son to die for me. I long to do your will and wait for your guidance and not to jump into what I want but wait for what you want. I am your vessel use me as you will. When I dance its only for you and for you to use me to speak to others. I am nothing without you in my life.

Trust In Him

I had an old friend tell me it broke his heart to me say that I was in pain everyday from the arthritis in my foot. He took it as if I was accepting that I was defeated and wasn't walking in faith enough to know that I can be healed. I told him that not to think that for one moment that I dont know that I am healed. It isn't because I lack the faith. I don't understand why some of us still walk everyday and deal with the pain, sickness, or disease that we do. There are some things that is hard for me to understand and do not have the answers to all I know to do is trust in him to know that I am healed and walk in that healing everyday no matter how I feel. I know that God has been dealing with me that there are things that I need to do to take care of myself better and I am making those necessary changes so that I can carry out what he has for me to do.

His Plan or Other Distractions?

This has been a rough past several days for me being sick. I don't like for anything to make me feel so bad I can't get up. I felt good enough to go to church yesterday morning and normally I wouldn't even think of doing flags but I knew I had to yesterday. There have been many things thrown at me lately that has tried to distract me from what God has called me to do. I told a friend yesterday that I have come to far and God has done too much in me for me to throw it away on a bad choice. While I was up there doing flags yesterday I couldn't sing out like I normally do when I do flags and I'm sure the look on my face was intense. I'm not a cheesy grin kinda person by nature but I do smile :). I was getting lost in his presence yesterday and didn't care who was watching or what they thought. I was praying God I have come too far now and you have done so much that I don't want to disappoint you by making any more bad choices. I was praying that he guide me and give me the wisdom to know when it's a distraction. I want more of HIM now than I ever have and nothing else is satisfying that hunger inside me anymore but HIM. This has been a year of reconnection with people from my past. Some of those people I have mended relationships with and some it was to make peace and close the door. I know that God has something big in store I feel it inside my spirit. This is not a time for letting self get in the way it's time to let God take over.

Who Is Ashamed?

I couldnt sleep very well last nite so I got my laptop and a few movies and crawled back into bed and started watching them. I was watching one night with the king. I love that movie and I havent had the opportunity to read the book yet but I plan too. Everyone always talks about the story of esther or even haman or vashti, but what stood out to me watching this movie was something that we as christians do all the time. We hide who we are in fear of what others may say or think. Esther hide who she was for fear of her life and her people. Yes the story ends well, but that doesn't always happen in our lives today. It's as if we are too ashamed to tell anyone we are christians and tell others of Gods love for them. We go to our jobs, schools, stores, churches, and even our own homes and hide who we are inside. Oh we say we are christians but we don't tell others of how God sent his son to die for them or what good things that God has done in our lives. What has caused us to be ashamed of who we are and of God? Was God ashamed of you? He sent his only son to be beaten, bruised, humiliated, scorned, and made the ultimate sacrifice and gave us his life in turn that we may live forever with him in heaven. We hide and cower at the thought of people thinking we are crazy pentecostal snake charming christians....ok some people see pentecostals that way but not all. I want to shout from the skies to anyone who will listen that Im a born again blood bought pentecostal christian. Im not ashamed of my father in heaven nor should you be. Stop letting others dictate what you say and feel. God wants us to tell others of his love, mercy, and grace that he has given to us if we but just ask for it. Dont' pass up your opportunity to tell others of how wonderful God is and how he wants to wrap his loving arms around them. He is not ashamed of you so why should you be of him?

Overcome With Unspeakable Joy

I was sitting and eating lunch by myself in a restaurant and just thinking about the dance that DIO ministered this past Sunday and I couldn't help but you smile when I thought of it. When I was up there dancing I didn't think about anyone or anything. The only thing I saw was how God had given me this dream over and over again of this dance and seeing it play out before my eyes was overwhelming. After we finished dancing I was so overcome with joy that I couldn't stop crying when we got out into the hallway. I love when God gives you something and you step aside to let him bring it to pass as he wants. Thats what its all about is not making it about ourselves. I was so proud of our DIO team. Each and every lady has their own story of how God has broken those strong holds off their life. I can't wait until we minster it again at the women's meeting.

HOARDER TO WHOLENESS

Have you ever watched that show "Hoaders"? It's about people who literally are buried in their stuff. I has over taken their houses and their life to the point that they can no longer live a normal life. They have such huge piles of stuff everywhere they can't sit on the furniture, eat at a dining room table, sleep in their beds, use their showers or tubs, or even cook food in their own kitchens. Some of the worst shows I saw they didn't even take out their trash so the home was crawling with rodents and cock roaches. The people would get very upset if others came in and tried to remove anything. They would say "That is my stuff not yours...you can't take my stuff". They would rather wallow in filth than to give up their stuff. Not all but most of the people associate a memory or an event with their things. It was usually something that happened in their life that had caused them to hoard to such an extreme. Do you know that we all have things that we hoard? I'm sure you are saying "Uhm no I don't live like that in filth and full of stuff that I don't need. Just because you are not surrounded by stuff and filth doesn't mean you are not a hoarder. What about that pain, anger, unforgiveness, insecurities, sickness, brokenness, sexual immorality, hatred, or anything else that doesn't belong inside you? Wouldn't that make you a hoarder too? Inside you you have built up so much of you have such huge piles of it and filth that it has over taken you that you are not living the life that God meant for you to live. You would rather wallow in it than to give it up. It's easier to hold onto it because it's like a security blanket of sorts. You get mad because God is moving in others lives but yet you still continue to hoard inside until you become bitter. Some of you are too stubborn to let go of your STUFF because you have a right to feel that way because of what someone else did to you or said to you and you want to continue to complain about it. God doesn't want you to hoard all that inside of you. He's waiting for you to take the first step toward him so that he can come and clean all that STUFF up that is inside you. Don't let your hoarding keep you from the freedom, joy, peace of mind, and wholeness that God has for you. As christians we would rather hold onto it than to admit that we are hoarding it inside. Don't let what others may say or think hold you back from letting God come and clean up the STUFF. He wants to take you from Hoarder to Wholeness and live the life that he has waiting for you.

A Conversation With Fear

I love this song because it makes me stop and think that the things that I had fear about really aren't as scary as we make it out to be. When we let God take over we have nothing to fear. This is what we need to do is have a conversation with our fear and not let it even take a seat to get comfortable. The minute we allow fear to have a seat and stay a while then it begins to start to grow and manifest within us. It begins to grow stronger and stronger as time goes on if we allow it to stay. Before you know it fear is running your life and it holds us back from the things that God wants for our lives and for the purpose he has layed out for us. It's as simple as saying good-bye. When we do that then we can say hello to all the good things that God has for us. I hope you enjoy the song.

That Pie In The Sky

Have you ever found yourself wishing you could win the lottery? What about marrying a rich man/woman? How about a rich relative leaving you a large amount of money? I have at least thought one of those at one time or another as I am sure all of you have. We have alot of discussions at my work about things and the guys here are always wishing they could win the lottery. We fool ourselves thinking that will solve all our financial issues. Sure it would be nice to not have to worry about money, but have you ever thought to stop and as God what he wants for you? God doesn't intend for his children to be poor, but did it ever occur to anyone that some of your financial woes are from your own bad choices? I know that there are some cases where it is just something that happens to some people, but the majority of the time the reason we get into the financial messes that we do its by our own doing. We cry out to God expecting him to give us a quick fix and that doesn't happen very often. We have gotten our eyes on what we see other people have and we ask God why don't I have that. You don't know what that other person has had to walk through to have what they have. I am sure that most of you would not be willing to walk their walk to have it. God wants us to look to him as our source and not for a quick fix or that pie in the sky. God always provides us with what we need right when we need it. We shouldn't get our eyes on the treasure of this world rather we should set our sights on our heavenly treasures. Your walk isn't like that other person who has all those things and the money. God has a purpose and a plane for you and you have to seek after him and not seeking how to get the money to solve your financial situation. When you look to HIM he will guide you and give you the wisdom so that you don't make the same mistakes as before. So stop looking for that rich relative to leave you money and look to your heavenly father and what he wants for you.

My Inability Transformed

Happy Friday Everyone!!!! I don't have anything deeply profound to say or anything that will move you to tears. I have just had an awesome week and I am filled with overflowing joy. I could have let this week bring me down with frustration and worry, but I chose to let God take over and not to let anything rob me of my joy and peace. I'm so in love with God I don't know what to do sometimes. I don't always have beautiful words to say, I can't carry a tune and sing, I'm not a minister who can get up and speak eloquently, I'm just a woman who just loves God with all she has inside of her and is just bursting to let it out. I want to dance for HIM more than I did when I first started in the ministry and I pray all the time that I just want others to see HIM through me and not see me. You see I don't have ability to dance I am just a vessel that is willing to get up there for HIM and do as he asks. I know when God gives me a dance to do and I see it in my dreams I know that I cannot always carry it out the way I have been shown it, but I know that he will show others through me what he wants them to see. I am even more humbled and amazed at how he will take simple me who has no ability or talent and transform to others what he wants them to see.

Wake Up With A Praise

You know there are just some times that we get up in the morning and we just don't feel like praising God. We get up all grumpy and not looking forward to what the day has to bring. You are trying to get the kids up and ready for school, trying to get yourself ready for work, your husband is asking you where something, you have to get breakfast made in the midst of all this and you are starting off your day frustrated and in a hurry. God doesn't want us to face the day with frustration. That's when we need to stop and just say God I give this day to you and I thank you for what lay ahead for me today. We need to start our day with Thanks to him for all he does for us and die to ourself before we ever start our day. God knows we have busy lives and responsibilites to take care of, but don't let your busy life overtake you to the point that we forget about God. The things of this world are temporary so dont get caught up in the temporary things and set your sights on the eternal.

Purity In Worship

I was thinking last night after we had our leadership meeting for DIO how corrupt our worship is at times. Don't get me wrong God takes us just as we are. We can come before him in our filthiness and we lay all our baggage and things that don't belong. In saying that we come before him with selfish motives and foolishness. I looked up the definiton of purity and one of the defitions is " Freedom from corrupting elements such as said of language and style". I'm not saying that we curse at God...well some of you might...,but we say things with selfish motives and not coming to him in reverance and with a mindset of worship. It says in Galations 5:4 (NIV) "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk, or coarse joking which are out of place, but rather with thanksgiving". When we come before him in worship it should be with purity of heart, mind, and soul not bringing anything corrupt out of our mouths. It needs to be with humility, and mind of serving, and a freedom not holding anything back. Opening ourselves up to him so that we might carry HIM out to this corrupt world that needs him.

Are You Unbreakable!!!!

If anyone knows me or has read my blog you know that I listen to all styles of music in christian music. I have one song on my ipod by fireflight called unbreakable...and its a rock style song so some of you may not like it but if you can get passed the music itself and listen to the words its a great song. It's talking about God taking you where you have never been and to let you dream again. So many of us have been so broken and hurt that we stop dreaming of what God wants for us. You can't let anything stop you or get in your way. Fear isnt an option anymore we have to say ...fear you have to leave and I wont let you overtake me!!! We have to let God take control and stop trying to do it on our own. When we do that then we become UNBREAKABLE!! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Keep your head up in the cloud of his glory and let him lead you and he will take you to places in him that you could not have imagined.

What's Holding You Back?

"You open your eyes and all you can see is light. Light that is so bright it's blinding and causes you to have to lower your head and cover your eyes. You open your eyes a little, but you still can't look right into the light. You find yourself standing and the light encompasses you as if it were shielding you. A warm feeling starts to fill you up from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. It overwhelms you and it's nothing like you have ever felt before. You want to speak but there are no words to describe what you feel or see and everytime you try to speak the words will not come out. Peace starts to take the place of all the worry, fear, anxiety, and a host of other feelings that you had been feeling. You beging to have joy start to spring up out of your soul and you don't know how to contain it. The words still don't come out and you can't contain yourself anymore and you don't know how to express what you are feeling inside. There are no words spoken still just this overwhelming feeling that you do not know how to describe and you feel if you don't express it that you might burst. Then a still small voice inside you that seems to come from the light all around you speaks. The voice says ....What would you do if I said move? Would you move for me? Would you go where I say to go? Would you do what it is I have layed out for you? You feel as if you about to burst and you need to get it out and let someone know what it is your feeling." This is how I feel everytime I dance for him. I don't dance for anyone else nor to please anyone else. I have such joy and peace inside me everytime I take a step, move my arms, wave a flag, or turn for him. God wants every part of you and is asking what you are willing to do. You don't have to know how to do what it is he has for you to do. You just have to be willing to take that first step and he will guide you through. He may not have called you to dance like he has me, but he has called you to do something for him. What is it he has called you to do? Are you willing to take that step? What's holding you back? Your answer should be nothing is holding me back and yes Im willing.

Cast Aside Fear

I've been helping Tammy get things organized for our upcoming workshop in March for Dance It Out. It's made me stop and take a look at things from the perspective of someone who isn't involved in the dance ministry or something similar. When we host the workshops whether it be our annual one we do at our church or when we go out to other places and host one for them alot people think that these workshops are just for people who dance or are interested in dance. Our whole purpose for being in ministry is to lead others into the presence of GOD. This ministry is not about just dance, drama, flags & billows, its not about whether you're talented or gifted. It is not about what others perceive as worship...it is all about helping others to open themselves up to what GOD has for them and to free themselves to be able to worship GOD on a more intimate level. We are a group of people who when God said, "Who will I send?" we said "Send us". I used to be one of those people who sat in the congregation and during praise and worship and I would feel that there was something more than just raising my hands. I hungered for more of him and wasn't sure how to get it. I'm not saying the dance ministry is the answer for everyone but it was for me. That is where God placed me for this time in my life. I'm saying that he wants us to be open to him and not keep ourselves in such a tightly closed box that we don't spread our wings and just soar with him. It's about letting ourselves go and putting aside anything that would stand in the way of us worshiping him on an intimate level. Don't let fear hold you back from what God has for you. It doesn't matter what others may say or how they look at you it's about what God sees and what he wants from you. If he told you to run around the church would you do it? If he told you to jump up and down would you do it? If he told you to scream for him would you do it? Everyone is quick to say they would but when it comes down to it most people let fear of what others think hold them back. Your worship isn't determined by what others think or say. The only one who matters is God and what he says and thinks. He wants all of you and not just the parts you want to give because it feels comfortable. He takes us out of our comfort zone to stretch us so that he can use us. So cast aside the fear and let yourself open up to what he has for you and when you do you will never be able to hold back anymore. You will find yourself hungering for more of him and won't be satisfied with anything else.

Be Mindful What You Take In

My girls and I seem to have the same discussion and difference of opinion on the subject of what we watch as far as tv and movies and what we listen to in music. I have my own opinion and I'm trying to teach my girls that they need to be careful what they allow into their minds and spirits. I use to watch alot of horror movies, movies that didnt really have good content in it, listen to both secular and christian music when I was younger and up into my late 20's. I started to re-evaluate what it was that I was allowing into my mind and spirit. I have a very creative imagination (thats where my kids get it from) and I would have all kinds of horrible dreams and just odd thoughts that I wouldn't understand where they came from. Then one day I was praying and God just softly spoke to my spirit and said what is it your listening to? I was puzzled at first by what I thought he meant. It took me a few days of pondering on it to figure out that he was trying to show me that what I put into myself is what is going to come out of me. I dont want things that don't edify or glorify God to be put into my mind and spirit. I know alot of you are like my kids and say well it doesnt have any cuss words in it and it isnt saying anything bad and I like the song so I think its ok to listen to it. Yes that may be true but stop and think about what you listen to and the kinds of messages it speaks into your life. Music is something that everyone relates to and enjoys. So think about it, satan has corrupted music in such a way that even if the musicians don't write about anything bad so to speak, no cuss words, and its just a good song to listen to...wouldn't that be a good way to find a crack into your mind and spirit to try to fill you full of things that shouldnt be there? It's the same thing with what we watch on tv and in the movies. The horrible images that are in some of these movies isn't something we should want to have in our minds and spirits. I mean really do you want the mental image of a person killing someone in the most graphic and brutal ways you can think of, seeing sexual perversion of every kind, glorifying drugs and alcohol, making lying seem likes its a part of life and ok to do? I know I don't want those kinds of images inside of me. These are the things that God was showing me in my life that I needed to be aware of and to change what I was taking into my life. I'm just saying be mindful of what you take in because what you take in is what is going to be coming out of you.

Your Blessed

I thought I would right on my blog today since I have not written on it much lately. This has been a year of growing and stretching as well as God bringing old friends back into my life. Sometimes facing things from your past can be a little painful for some people, but it has been great experience for me so far. I have learned that I have some wonderful childhood friends that no matter what we went through are still my friends even though we lost touch for a time. I have also learned that I didn't always like the person I was back then and I am glad that I have learned to grow in God and let that person stay in the past. I am still growing and God isn't done with me yet. This has been a year of being pushed to the forefront of ministry which has not always been comfortable for me, but he is teaching me to not look so low on myself and to let him shine through me even when I may not feel I have ability or talent to do something. It's about being willing to lose yourself so that God can shine through for his purpose that he has laid out for you.

This has also been a year of taking a look at my personal life as far as dating goes. I have been single for many years and dated here and there, but it isn't what I want to date just to be dating. I have decided that I will wait on God and his timing and not rush into dating. I don't fear being single and I am really OK with it. I want to keep my focus on what it is God has for me to do and to raise my girls to the best of my ability. I have had my own bad experiences with dating in the past, but it was because I rushed things and wanted it now and that doesn't work. You have to get your focus where it needs to be which on keeping your eyes on God and taking care of your family. Once that is your focus God can bring someone into your life that will fit right in as if they had always been there.

I think alot of this reflection is because I'm getting ready to turn 42 tomorrow and there are days I still in my mind feel like I'm still in my twenties, but some days physically I don't lol. I hope that as I have gotten older that I have gained some wisdom on things so I don't make the same mistakes as when I was younger. Also so that I can teach my girls what not to do.

I guess in saying all this I'm trying to say be happy right where God has you and look around and see how he has blessed you. Be willing to go and do what God has for you to do. Don't get your eyes on the distractions that come your way keep your focus always on God.

As you can see I havent blogged in several months now. Its been busy for me until here lately so I had no time to write anything down. I dont really have much to say except that I have learned over the past several months that no one can take your joy from you unless you allow them too. We all have circumstances and things that happen to us that makes us want to get down or depressed, but if you stop and think for a moment we wouldnt allow anything to rob us of our joy and peace we have in christ. Ive been listening to all kinds of music lately and the one song that stands out to me is a Britt Nicole song "Ready". Its talk about its time to move on and not to let anything get us down. If you havent heard it you should listen to it. It may not be your style of music but the message is just what we need to hear.

On the Mountain Top.....Then Down In The Valley

I'm on a mountain top right now and I cant see where anything ends. I feel like I'm unbreakable and unstoppable with God on my side. When you are on that mountain top you have to guard yourself even more so than you did when you were climbing that mountain. The enemy is just waiting for you to inch towards the edge of the mountain ledge and hope that you will fall off the mountain. He will do whatever he thinks he can do to get you to choose to fall off. Yes I said choose. Do you think that Satan can make you do anything? Its by our own choices that we fall. Yes he tempts us but he doesn't make us do anything. We choose to give him the power over us and we choose to either fall or sometimes jump off that mountain top. I have been at the top before and have made bad choices and fell off that mountain and there was a time in my life I chose to jump off because I didn't care. It makes me sad to see Christians climb that mountain and get to the top and they get comfortable and think well God will catch me if I fall. Yes he catches us if we fall, but there are times when he will allow us to fall and we have to suffer the consequences of our mistakes. What does it take for us to learn that we cant do anything without him? Does it take losing everything we have and be at the bottom of the mountain down in the valley so low that all we can do is look up to him?

No matter how impossible things look and how bad of a mistake you have made God is right there waiting with open arms for you ready to wipe the tears from your eyes. Take comfort and rest in him let him heal your mind, heart, and soul. He will give you peace of mind and renew your thinking and your strength. He will fill you so full of himself you cant contain it and you are overflowing of him and it will spill over everyone you come in contact with. I pray right now that for those of you who are down in the valley and you feel you are not worthy for him to love or to care about that he will make himself real to you right now right where you are. It doesn't matter what you have done or how long you have been away from him he loves you and hes waiting for you to say daddy I'm home. Don't let Satan have power over you make your mind up that no matter what that you give God everything and let him take over.

Long Time Answer To Prayer

This past weekend I had a longtime answer to prayer happen. My girls half sister Rachel came to stay with us Saturday nite. I have been trying for many years to get her mom and dad to let her come and visit and stay with us so that the girls could get to know each other and have a relationship but I hit a brick wall every time. We all had a very candid discussion about alot things from the past that answered alot of questions for her and cleared alot of things up. I wont go into any detail because that is personal things that you don't want shared with anyone else, but I was glad to be of some help to her. To see the girls be able to have a relationship was a huge relief for me. They had all wanted to know each other and it was good to see them laughing talking and getting to know one another. I hope that this is just the beginning of it and that they continue to form a relationship with each other. If there is something that you have been praying about for years and years and you still haven't seen it happen don't be discouraged just keep on praying and don't give up. The enemy tried everything he could to keep my prayer from being answered but I knew some day that my prayer would be answered. Sometimes its not that God doesn't want our prayers answered but maybe other people involved don't want to allow things to happen so God in his infinite wisdom and timing will work things out.

Living Proof That God Is Real

We finally got moved into our new place over this past weekend. My first nite in the new place was great and I slept so sound...its because I had been up for over 30 plus hours lol. I had some wonderful friends come and help me move as well as my sister and her husband. I was so thankful that they helped and I don't know how to say it enough to them. Once we had everything moved into the new place I had everyone annoint the doors, walls, cabinets, etc...everything they could get and pray over the new place. It was an emotional moment for me when everyone did that and my sis and brother in law prayed for me too. I couldn't hold back the tears of joy I felt at that moment. It had been a long journey to get there and alot of lessons learned along the way. I had woke up in the middle of the nite during our first nite there and walked into the girls room and just stood there and watched them sleeping like I used to do when they were small. It was so peaceful and a big weight lifted at that moment from me. I had been carrying the weight of some past things for a long time and at that moment God lifted the weight from my shoulders and said look back no more. I am still in awe and humbled by it all. My life has drastically changed over the last 3 yrs, especially in this past year. I have moved to a new church, been blessed with some wonderful new friends, been promoted at my job and a raise, moved into a new place, my daughter Olivia joining the dance ministry, Natalie taking more responsibility at home now(which may not seem like much but believe me its a big thing), and soooo many other little things that people take for granted has come about in just one years time. I have made my share of mistakes, but God has given me the wisdom to keep me from making them again. This journey of mine is FAR from over its just beginning...actually its a new beginning of a new journey in my life. God has some things in store ahead and I can't wait to see what they are. I know that there will probably be some obstacles, but he never said it would be easy. Did you Take up your cross and follow me indicated that it was going to be easy? I know without any doubts that he is there with me always and helping me through whatever come along and will give me the strength I need to make it through. I'm looking forward to see what this year holds and I'm sure you will be hearing from me from time to time about whats going on and what God is doing. If there is any doubt in your minds about whether God is real there shouldn't be because I'm living breathing proof that he is real and loves each and every one of us.

The Home Stretch!!!!

This last few weeks has been like running a long marathon and its getting down to the home stretch, but its seems you tire out, ache, and want to give up, but something inside you says no you can do it its the home stretch you have a little more inside you push through the pain, exhaustion, and frustration. You have come too far to give up now. That's been my life these past few weeks between being sick, alot going on at work, trying to pack, death in the family, and just the every day things that come at you on a regular basis. I found myself saying God I'm so tired and weak I dont know if I can move another centimeter. He stretched out his arms and said if you would just stop trying so hard and let me take over you wouldn't be so weary and exhausted from trying do to it on your own. That's how it is with us we get in this mode of trying to do things on our own and make things happen that only God can do. I know I have been guilty of it last few weeks. He told me to slow down and let him do the work its only by his hand that things will fall into place and I have to have patience. So if you find yourself trying to get in the middle of what God is doing and take over....STOP!!!! Save yourself the worry and stress and let him take over. After all he is God not you.

Use Wisdom In What You Ask For!!!

If any of you have been around me within the last year you know that I have been praying for another place to live. At first I was wanting to see about buying a house and I prayed about it, but I didn't feel it was a wise decision. God kept dealing with me about what I had and to clean house. I had blogged about that before where he had me cleaning out things not only in my life, but also in my home. I have had to be a good steward of what I have had and take care of it. Sometimes we want things but we don't use wisdom about it and then we get ourselves in over our heads and then we want to ask God why didn't you provide for me. Sometimes what we want and what isn't always what we should have. Maybe one day God will choose to bless me with a house but until that time I am satisfied with what he has provided me with and the wisdom to know when not to jump into something head first and drown. I started looking for another apartment this week because I felt like God has taken the reigns off so to speak with the go ahead to look. I went and looked at one yesterday and feel in love with it. It has everything that I want and its not much bigger than what I have now, but its in the same neighborhood and Olivia doesn't have to switch schools. I went and turned in the application at 12:30 today and by 12:55 I got a phone call saying that I had gotten the apartment. God works fast!!!!! I didn't ask for much more than I thought I needed and he provided and has also given me the finances to be able to do it. I am thankful that he showed me to use wisdom in this. Its not always easy to sit back and wait for something because we always want instant gratification. I am truly amazed at how things have changed over this past year and thankful for all that he has shown me and given me. I cant wait to see what this year holds.

Reflecting 2010

After spending alot of time this weekend reflecting and looking back on 2010 I found that God has drastically changed my life in ways I never would have expected or imagined. Its easy to look back and see what he has done for you, but sometimes while we are in the midst of going through all the changes we don't see what it is he has been doing. In a years time God has brought me to a new church, gave me some wonderful new friends, promoted me at my job, has blessed me financially to be able to do for others when he calls upon me to, and so many other little things that we don't often think about as well. I have had a truly blessed 2010 even though it may have seemed a bit rough going through some of the changes I have to say through it all God truly blessed me more than I ever could have imagined. I'm not sure what lay ahead for 2011, but whatever it is I know that God is truly there with me and taking care of me and my family. I just hope that whatever he blesses me with I can pass it on to others so that they can know of his love, because without him I would truly be lost.