I Will Spend Time With You

This week has been an especially hard week at work. My body is tired, my brain is spinning constently looking at documents all day, trying to make decisions, coming home and dealing with kids, trying to find time to clean my apartment, just trying to keep things in order in general. By the time my day ends I really don't feel like spending time with god. Let's be honest we have all been there and I am in the midst of it. I don't get up at 5 in the morning and spend my time in prayer. I am not the kind of person who likes to get up that early in the morning. I usually sleep until I have to get up and then its get the kids up and start the busy day. I have my morning prayer time on the way to work. Some people may not agree with that, but that is my time with him and its just me and him in that moment. I spend 40 to 45 minutes every morning driving to work and that is the time I use to spend with him in the morning. There have been many mornings that I am not sure how I got to work cause I was lost in my moment with god. Today was one of those mornings. The song by casting crowns came on "East to West" and I was just singing and praying god I want more of you and less of me. I have had a week like the songs says "I feel like I'm just one mistake away from you leaving me this way". I cried and said god even when I don't feel like it I will spend time with you, when I am stressed out from the day and feel like screaming I will spend time with you, when I am quiet and alone with all of the racing thoughts in my head that I am trying not to deal with cause they are painful I will spend time with you. I would rather fall asleep spending time with god than not attempting to at all. I am at a point where I want more of him and less of me. It comes with a price, you have to shove that old self down daily and let him refine you. You have to chose to die to self daily. It's not always easy either, at least not for me sometimes. So if you have had a week like mine just say god refine me so others can see you through me.